bxrad_exdge

ATTENTION

2005-10-04T17:53:22Z

NEW JOURNAL NAME!

You want the name ask me for it or ill jstu add you<3

where the fuck is the van

2005-10-03T20:25:19Z

so kelley just left me</3 it was an amazing weekend. we got a lot of alone time and i got the chance to spoil the shit out of her. we got a stupid text message that kind of ruined the vibe from a fuck up person that ruined my life. i really cant wait till she moves away from this city to. she is a cunt and she is a piece of shit. im sorry i dont know how she got my number and im really upset that she did. this morning was the hardest thing ive had to do in months and that was to let kelley leave again. it sucks because when she is here time flies by soo fast and when she leaves i feel so fucking lonely she is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me and i cant wait for her to come back and i cant wait for this summer becase we are going to live together. im starting to like reno more and more as each day goes by. it sucks because i dont have the love i do when i was down there. i miss everyone sooo fucking much. but ill be home soon.

FUCK IM HYPED!!!

2005-09-30T17:03:50Z

12 FUCKING HOURS IM SOOO HYPED!!

MY SUGAR TITS WILL BE IN TOWN IN 12 HOURS

bxrad_exdge @ 2005-09-28T17:48:00

2005-09-29T00:49:27Z

just got my phone and let me tell you it is amazing!! i got the new itunes phone from cingular if you want my number toooo BAD! or jsut ask <3

friday night at 10:15 or so my lover will be here and god damn i cant wait<3

where the fuck is the van?

2005-09-25T22:56:31Z

so lately since ive gotten back from vegas i have noticed how extremely unhappy i am. i miss all my friends down in vegas i mean dont get me wrong i love living with my mom she is the most amazing person. and i have the kids i hang out iwth up here they are good dudes but i jsut dont have the comfort like i do with everyone else. ive finally come to terms who is truly my friend and who is a two faced piece of shit im not going to name any of them at all it will jsut create drama but jsut know if i dont talk to you when i get back you will understand why. i am really thankful that aaron and i had a huge talk the other night. he really made me realize a lot of things and i felt that he had helped me so much... i come back in october to hang out and for the halloween show. ill be back nov 18th for a show and in december. so every month im going to make it down. i miss everyone soo much

i get to see kelley in less than a week and you have no idea how excited i am for that she is having some bad days up there in santa clara but hey she will get to be with me you cant get much better then that... i am taking her shopping and im taking her out on the small town haha.. i love her to death<333

also erika and i had an amazing talk last night we caught up on the old times talked about high school and some of the stupid things we used to do. i miss my brothers terribly they were my support system while i was there. but ill be home soon and its going to be another giant party

bxrad_exdge @ 2005-09-24T08:29:00

2005-09-24T15:30:51Z

im sorry im sooo sorry i fell asleep and i didnt sleep right becuase i didnt talk to you my head wasnt right i love you<3

ill make it up to you if i have to<3 dont be mad at me<3

bxrad_exdge @ 2005-09-22T23:34:00

2005-09-23T06:35:26Z

i miss you<33

i cant wait till we are together again another week this time next week we will be partying

GET IN HEREEEEEE MAAAANNNNN!!!

2005-09-20T21:37:21Z

my trip was absolutly amazing... im glad i got to see everyone and im glad i had the talk of my life with larry and aaron.

last night as i was getting ready to leave i get a phone call from larry and i just started balling my fucking eyes out becuase i didnt want to leave..the only good thing up here is the fact that im with my mom and im right next to kelley<3

other than that i have nothing and im completly lonely i play fable all fucking night for godsakes hahaha.. well i love everyone and all i have to say to sum up my whole fucking trip is

G G G G G G G G G GETTTT IN HERE MANN!!!!

bxrad_exdge @ 2005-09-19T14:34:00

2005-09-19T21:37:31Z

this trip has been amazing i got to see a lot of people so far and tonight at the show it should be even more faces.

i fell asleep at jenns house last night but all i could think about was kelley and how i feel completly shitty for not being out here for her. i should have fought harder to get down here to say goodbye to her. but i love you and im going to try soo hard to get there this weekend so i know you are alright i know the times are tough but you are a tough girl. you will mkae it through you just have to keep your head up and i know you are lonely but please dont ever look away.

im sooo hungry and me and eric are going to tear shit apart tonight. we wrote a song together last night and did two mic song for one of our new songs. i have missed you so much man. i cant wait for tonight just more mayhem to insue.

bxrad_exdge @ 2005-09-17T11:20:00

2005-09-17T18:21:07Z

WHOS READY TO FUCKING PARTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BECAUSE I AM AND IM SOO READY TO SEE EVERYONE TONIGHT IM SOOOO STOKED!!!!!!

HANGXOUT TEAM IS READY TO START

bxrad_exdge @ 2005-09-15T08:25:00

2005-09-15T15:27:09Z

kelley just called me to tell me that she was on her way i want to thank anyone who hung out with her last night. it meant a lot to her and me. im glad she is closer to me so that i can take care of her.

ill be home in less than 3 days i love you guys

kelley its going to be ok im here for you now and you arent far away you are just a phone call and a plane ride home. i love you

bxrad_exdge @ 2005-09-14T01:13:00

2005-09-14T08:14:50Z

sometimes i ruin a good night because im an idiot im sorry and i didnt mean to ruin a good night and today is supposed to be a good one for you im sorrry im an asshole i guess im not to good to you huh?

on a brighter side i love you josh its your bday so live it up niggggga

bxrad_exdge @ 2005-09-13T10:24:00

2005-09-13T17:27:48Z

WHOS HYPED BESIDES ME!!!

4 days til i get back.. there are some ups and downs about the whole thing though

i wont get to see the one person i need to see....</3 but i do get to see everyone and catch up on old times but ill be there and ready to party all day long booya! make sure everyone checks out bloody sunday every man for himself wintch mob and relentless monday night at the rock n java every one better bring their dancing shoes to get ready to shake their asses im stoked that i will get to spend the night at dannys house one night so me and him can catch up on old times. im also stoked that lars large nose johnson brown wintch will be there to pick me up from the airport and then i get to hang out with my favorite person in the world AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN!!! ill be there soon...

bxrad_exdge @ 2005-09-12T11:47:00

2005-09-12T18:48:32Z

sometimes i wish i didnt exist
sometimes i wish i wasnt sick
and i wish i had my better half all the time up here in KENO..... <3

helpless times 2

2005-09-11T17:11:46Z

i just wish i could take your pain away....

i want to be there for you.....

i miss you and we will be together soon....

just dont give up yet

chingo bling king of tamalless boooyyyyyyy

2005-09-08T15:41:53Z

i love chingo bling it gets me through my days there is nothing else in this world i would rather have then you..... i just dont think you realize how hard i have tried to make sure you are ok and there are no more tears and there are no more pains coming from your chest.. so you dont have to lie in bed at night and wonder why the only thing i can possibly do is give you all my heart my attention and my love. i hope this is good enough beucase if its not then whats the point. i know you are there and i am here but one day one day we will be living in a house together watching ourselves grow grey. thats all i want is to be with you. i dont care about what they say becuase i know where i stand and thats right next to you. the depression is just a short breath away from happiness. happiness is the key to life so they say.. there is nothing else i need but you i would die just to see you smile i would take all the pain you have inside and swollow it in a heartbeat if i knew that would make you realize i love you. im going off course and things are coming out randomly and not in a very good text but all the things i wish i could say to you in person have to be written through this.. or spoken through the phone with out the touch or scent or the reaction on your face. it will be ok in the end it will be ok in the end i wont let it happen again because ive realized that you are all i need and all i will ever need. <3

bxrad_exdge @ 2005-09-07T08:26:00

2005-09-07T15:27:33Z

sometimes you have to look life in the face and say when in roomeee...

but i hate school but i love my job end report

oh and i love you k. BELLEY(haha)
it will be ok.. i promise you if anyone wants to call me today you should that would be rather awesome..

post script

2005-09-06T22:15:14Z

sometimes i hate work becuase it is sooo fucking slow and sometimes i love work because it goes by soo fast that i dont even notice that i am here... that also makes it a lot easier to get through the days because then it is quicker that i get to talk to kelley<3 me and her are doing fine we have made many improvements within us. and im glad and to all those people that told her she couldnt do it and i couldnt change and i wouldnt change well hey guess what you are a piece of shit because nothing can break us now not even you... and to those who wish we werent together can eat my ass... i love her so fucking deal with it.

kelley will be 5 hours closer to me in 12 days or so ill be back to vegas really soon. and i cant wait becuase me and larry have some SERIOUS hangout team time. be home soon

KMc<33

2005-09-05T18:09:12Z

today will be better for us i swear
i love you butthead<33

bxrad_exdge @ 2005-09-01T11:29:00

2005-09-01T18:29:26Z

i miss my kelley mccoy

bxrad_exdge @ 2005-08-31T13:49:00

2005-08-31T20:49:21Z

you wont have to call back when im not alive.....

bxrad_exdge @ 2005-08-31T13:29:00

2005-08-31T20:29:43Z

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
thats all...........

bxrad_exdge @ 2005-08-30T10:38:00

2005-08-30T17:39:54Z

dear kelley

you are my life<3 my better half and i know things are going to look up from here now that we have faced what is right in front of us and what is blocking us from moving forward i love you sugaaaaaa<333

here i am ... at the top... fuck them

2005-08-30T01:25:23Z

so i just sent chris anton some money so he can survive another month down there in az... so instead of going to az i decided to help him out....love you homie anc congrats on your new job.. lets not break our hand this time.

im up here working 50 hours a week. and im loving every second of my new job. i make about 100 bucks a day in comission alone and about 80 in hourly. so things are really going good. i miss everyone back home its really lonely up here especially with out my other half<3. im getting a cell phone on the 9th of september. so if you are reading this leave me your number so i can call you when i get the number. also ill be home on the 14th it looks like and ill be there til the 20th. so we i better see EVERYONE before i leave.

im really excited kelley is moving 5 hours closer to me becasue this means i get to go road trip and see her whenever i want beccasue its so damn close to me.

i miss my band but me and larry are writing a song tonight haha hopefully.
im driving the 82 cadillac which is absolutly amazing and all i do is lay back to the rap radio station all day long. i started school today and i had a kid in an 79 lincoln town car come up to me and ask if it was for sale. hahah its the little things that are keeping my heart going.

the new paul wall and chamillionaire cd is absolutly amazing i cant get enough of it. im glad im up here with my mom she takes care of me and it was amazing when cj scott and kelley belley were up here. im really glad jenn calls me everyday its seriously amazing. i love her and miss her even more. im bummed she might be moving to virginia but it looks like i have some sweet vacation time to do when i need to go see her.. and if you dont feel llike driving your car up there just let me know hahaha ill take it off your hands boo<333

i cant get enough of how much i love my job its just me and my big boss man everyday sittin around shootin the shit. he is a super nice guy and is teaching me everything he knows to close the deals im doing. im really excited to play on the 19th. i miss josh a lot i havent really talked to him and it bums me out because i can never call long distance from my house and im never really home its either at work or out hanging out or at the college now.

i need my better/other half up here to parrtaay with me YOU BETTER GET ME SOME STUFF TONIGHT

bxrad_exdge @ 2005-08-23T16:49:00

2005-08-23T23:57:05Z

so i was supposed to go to vegas today and then to arizona tomorrow then back again... but due to technical difficulties i will be hanging out in reno some more and now i have to send money to chris instead of taking it down to him and now ive let my boys in arizona down again... because i always plan on getting out there and then what do you know my plans fall through. im not mad at jenn at all because she tried her heart out to get me down there and i love her for that i hope your day is going a little better... im sorry for not making it down again arizona i love all of you and i will be there in september....

i miss kelley i miss home i miss my band i miss my brothers i miss my friends.. the only good thing is...kelley will be in santa clara which means.......she is 5 hours closer to me... a drive from reno to santa clara is a good 4 hours or less which im stoked on because that is damn close

it sucks not to see or talk to anyone anymore but i am getting a phone within the week so look out ill be back<333